The Simpsons: Bart Goes Postal
by XboxFreak
Summary: Bart get's revenge on those who made fun of him.
1. Mindsweeper

Simpsons: Bart Goes Postal  
  
  
  
By: TimCush  
  
A/N This story is about Bart Simpson going crazy. Some things will be changed.  
  
  
  
Ch.1- Mindsweeper  
  
1 "Bart! Where's my wrench?" Homer yelled  
  
"What do you need it for? You don't know how to use it!  
  
"Why you little?"  
  
"Ok.Ok. It's in my treehouse." Bart went outside and started to climb it. He reached for the top accidentally knocked the wrench down.  
  
"Whoa!" Clonk. The wrench fell down and hit Bart in the head He fell down the ladder and hit his head on a rock. Then a stray dog bit him in the head. Bart blacked out from a massive head trauma. Then a bird pooped on his head.  
  
"There's my wrench." Homer says. He walks away without noticing Bart.  
  
"Baaaart"  
  
"Wha" Bart saw nothing but darkness. "Who is it?"  
  
"It's me. Joe Jinkleberry."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Your old neighbor."  
  
"Oh…How come it's completely black in here?"  
  
"Bart, do you know where we are?"  
  
"Yeah. We are in my treehouse. I'm getting my dad a wrench.  
  
"No Bart. You have already done that. I'm inside of your head. You were knocked unconscious and that is how I got inside of you. Do you remember knocking the wrench on your head?"  
  
"Uhhh. Oh yea."  
  
"No Bart. You don't. I knocked the wrench on your head. I needed to get inside of you. We were good friends. Then I moved. I couldn't stand the people. They made fun of us for being friends. Now Bart. We need revenge. Together we will rule the earth!"  
  
"Sounds cool. Can I drive the tank and kill Skinner?"  
  
"Sure whatever."  
  
"What about Milhouse?"  
  
"Who is Milhouse?"  
  
"A kid who moved in a couple houses down after you moved. He is my new best friend."  
  
"Ok" So the three of them were now one big unstoppable team. Well, not unstoppable. Yet. The first person they decided to attack was Skinner. 


	2. Getting the Goods

Ch.2 No witness. No crime.  
  
  
  
Bart, with Joe still in his head, walked with Milhouse to the school where Mr.Skinner was validating tardy slips. They were wearing black and edging along the school grounds slowly.  
  
"Wait, Bart. What is our attack weapon going to be?" asked Milhouse.  
  
"Oh yeah. I forgot about that. I'll have to break into the gun store." Replied Bart. They hurried off the school grounds and down "Gun Lane." Bart walked up to a store called Gun-Mart.  
  
"You know how to pick a lock, Milhouse?" Bart asked Milhouse.  
  
"Well…" He replied,  
  
"Never mind. I'll do it myself."  
  
"I can though." Milhouse blurted.  
  
" Then you do it. I can't waste my strength picking locks when I have to pull triggers."  
  
"Well, now that you mention it. I shouldn't waste my str…"  
  
"You can't do it, can ya?" Bart said, "That's what I thought. I'll pick the lock while you stand guard." Bart told Milhouse.  
  
. While Bart looked for a pin or something of that sort, Milhouse said, " Bart, I don't think this is such a good idea."  
  
"What's the matter Milhouse? Chicken?" Bart said in a sly voice.  
  
"I'll stand" Milhouse said in a squeaky voice. Then in a lower, deeper voice he said, I'll stand guard."  
  
"You do you that."  
  
Bart finally picked the lock and got the door open. They went inside to see what they wanted to see for a long time. They were in a gun store (full of guns) and all to themselves. They could steal and not be caught. Milhouse started to walk inside but Bart said, "Wait!"  
  
"What? Who? Why?" Milhouse yelled.  
  
"Don't you know that all these gun stores have laser security systems?" Bart said quietly.  
  
"And you should try keeping it down. Someone might hear us."  
  
"Oh yeah. What are we going to do?"  
  
"Well it's what I'm going to do. I watched this movie where this guy was robbing stores and he could get past laser security systems. Well, cigarette smoke will make all lasers appear. It's really cool." Bart grinned. He knew his plan would work.  
  
"Cool." Bart took out a cigarette and lit it. He took one puff. Then let the smoke come out of his mouth. The lasers appeared near the doorway, crisscrossing. The lasers were only around the feet so they could easily step over them.  
  
Bart walked over to the glass case and saw the best thing he had ever seen. Guns. Tons of them. He started to pick the lock when Milhouse came running in.  
  
"People are coming!" He said quietly though with force.  
  
"Can you recognize who?" Bart asked.  
  
"It happens to be Chief Wiggum!" He replied.  
  
"Hide behind that cabinet and I'll close the door." Bart ran over to the door and softly closed the door. Chief Wiggum walked toward them and stopped and turned to his side. He looked inside the Gun-Mart though didn't see anyone. Then he walked on looking in every store window. It was his usual nighttime store checkup.  
  
"That was close." Milhouse said. Then Bart walked over to the cabinet on the right full of guns.  
  
"I'll take the M6. Milhouse what gun do you want?"  
  
"Uhhh… I'll take a 44 Magnum and hold the unions."  
  
"Would you like that with silk." Bart asked laughing. They both started cracking up. "Well we still have a job to do. Let's go!"  
  
"Hey Bart, What is a M6?"  
  
"It's a gun that shoots out grenades. The grenades are tiny but explode big time. It can shoot 6 grenades per second."  
  
"Wow. Can I use that when you're done with it?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Can… Lenny borrow it?" Milhouse asked.  
  
"No. Only I can use it." They started walking toward the door.  
  
"Wait! Bart! There's something I'm forgetting!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"My hat!" Milhouse walked over to the table and picked up an old baseball hat. They continued out the door and heading in the direction of the school. 


	3. Skinner Surprise

Ch.3- Skinner Surprise  
  
  
  
  
  
Bart Ran over to a brand new Firebird and started to hot-wire it. He finished in under a minute. Milhouse got in and closed the door. They were on a rampage. He drove as fast and as wild as humanly possible. They were at the school in no time.  
  
They both got out and cautiously made their way to the school. The principal's office light was on and Bart could see movement. They quietly made their way into the school and headed up the stairs. They moved toward Skinners office, they saw two shadows in Skinners office.  
  
"Am I seeing double vision? It looks like there are two shadows in there."  
  
"You aren't seeing double," Bart said. "There are two shadows in Skinners office" They looked inside to find Skinner and Krabappel making out on the principal's desk. "Good lord!" Bart yelled. "That's the grossest thing I've ever seen in my life."  
  
"That truly is sick. My eyes will be tortured for the rest of my life." Milhouse added.  
  
"Uhhh. We were just filing some papers." Ms. Krabappel said.  
  
"You got that right." Bart said. "You are filing all the papers. Now , let's get down to business. Pay me and I won't kill you."  
  
"How much?" Skinner asked.  
  
"Ten thousand."  
  
"Whaaaa?"  
  
"Yeah. Ten thousand. You do have ten thousand don't you?"  
  
"Yeah but..."  
  
"Hand it over."  
  
"What's in it for me?"  
  
"Well let's see." Bart started. "How about. NOT GETTING KILLED!"  
  
"I see. Well I guess I have no choice but to give it to you." He put the money on a table and backed away.  
  
"Milhouse, cover me."  
  
"Well, ok." Bart grabbed the money and backed away. Then an he was about to walk out the door and he shot Skinner directly in the face. The explosion also killed Krabappel. 


	4. Police are in the action

Ch.4-Police are into the action  
  
When Bart woke up he decided to go and see if anyone had found the school yet. Well, he knew someone had but he wanted to see everything. He walked to Milhouses' house and told him to come with him to the school to see what was all going down at the school after the crisis last night. They walked over there and there were more policemen, policewoman, and police dogs they had ever seen in one location. Bart thought the police must have got there not to long ago because they were just putting the bodies into the body bags.  
  
"Goo! There are a lot of police here. Maybe we should leave." Milhouse said.  
  
"How about. no, Milhouse." Bart said.  
  
"If we hang around we are going to get caught. YOU DO THIS EVERY TIME!" Milhouse yelled. Luckily for Bart the police didn't here a sound out of them.  
  
"Milhouse, I've been an evil fricken' genius for thirty fricken years. Cut me some, Fricken slack."  
  
"Actually you've only been an evil fricken genius for 1 fricken day."  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"Why don't you?"  
  
"Because you're the one that's doing the insulting."  
  
"Oh. I see. But we should really leave. The police are really starting to pile in."  
  
"You're right. We could get easily caught." So Milhouse and Bart made their way back to their hideout. Their hideout was in Bart's tree house. "Ok, do we have everything we need to plan things out?" Bart asked.  
  
"Yes we do in fact." Milhouse said. "We have the dry erase board, dry erase markers, the stick thingy you point out things with, and of course, the guns."  
  
"Good. So everything is going according to plan. This is working out better than I expected. This is great. I've never felt more alive! I have power! I need more though. We must make our next move as quick as possible I need more power. It makes me feel so good."  
  
"Ok settle down." Milhouse said. "We haven't taken over the world or anything. We've only jumped a couple of people and you're going crazy." A police car drove by and parked next door at Flanders' house.  
  
"Quick." Bart said. "Put the guns in the storage chest and cover it with a sheet." The policeman looked in their direction. "Hide!"  
  
"Are well hidden Bart?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm cool. How 'bout you?"  
  
"I'm fine. You think he saw us?"  
  
"I sure hope not. We'd get busted big time."  
  
"Yeah major time, dude."  
  
"Milhouse, stop trying to act cool. You're making a fool out of yourself. You're embarrassing me in front of no one." Bart said.  
  
"Garsh, Bart."  
  
* * * * *  
  
During the next few days, the police were swarming the streets. Not one crime was physically possible to commit in Springfield. The mayor had beefed up security for safety precautions.  
  
"We can't do our work with these cops around" Milhouse said.  
  
"You're right Milhosue" Bart said.  
  
"Really?!"  
  
"No, not really. I can't back that up."  
  
"Right." Milhouse said.  
  
"I'm kidding. You are right. We can't do anything yet. We'll have to wait until the police dye down. Though my anger, my patience is wearing down. I don't know how long I can take this." Bart had seemed to go a little insane when the bird pooped on his head.  
  
"Hello!"  
  
"Who said that?" Bart asked.  
  
"It's me. I'm in your head. Remember?! You forgot about me. I kept trying to get your attention but it wouldn't work. I see the police have seen your work and are ready to catch you. They just need to find out it was you and they will be set."  
  
"Right. Anyway, the key to my plan is the part with guns. I've turned my tree house into what I'de like to call, a death star."  
  
"Ok darth." Milhouse said.  
  
"What did you call me?"  
  
"Oh nothin'. Rippoff!" Milhouse yelled acting like he was sneezing in an obvious way though.  
  
"Bless you." Bart said. The days past though the police didn't. They stayed on watch 24/7. Bart had gone out of control. He had to strike. He couldn't take. He had to kill. 


End file.
